L1OR's Space!: Blog

Weird stats and facts: Love at first sight

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 01:24:27 GMT

According to a recent survey, almost two out of three Americans believe in love at first sight (Naumann, 2001).
The survey reported that over half of them have actually experienced it, and over half of those went on to marry the person they had instantly fallen in love with.

Source: http://www.in-mind.org/

Some universal human needs

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 22:36:52 GMT

Some universal human needs include:
1. The Need to Belong - an innate preparedness to form and maintain at least a minimum quantity of interpersonal relationships
2. The Need for Meaningful Existence.

If these needs are frustrated people start suffering from anxiety, have a higher chance of dying at a younger age, and have a poorer immune system.

Taken from: Van Voorst, A., & IJzerman, H. (2007). Evolution of religion. In-Mind Magazine, 3.

What is it to be "beautiful"?

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 22:27:08 GMT

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder although there are some stereotypes. Beyond physical attractiveness though there is the theory of 'what-is-beautiful-is-good'.

We implicitly assume that attractiveness comes with good traits. For example, attractive people are rated as more intelligent, successful, warm, happy, and dominant than unattractive people.

There is no evidence that this correlation actually exists though.

Taken from: Eagly, A. H., Ashmore, R. D., Makhijani, M. G., Longo, L. C. (1991). What is beautiful is good, but...: a meta-analytic review of research on the physical attractiveness stereotype. Psychological Bulletin, 110 107-128. oh and...

In order to be seen as more attractive, hang out with attractive people
The so-called radiation effect means that when a person of average attractiveness is simultaneously seen with a very attractive person, observers will rate the average attractive woman as more attractive than when she is evaluated alone.

Taken from: Geiselman, R. E., Haight, N. A. & Kimata, L. G. (1984). Context effect in the perceived attractiveness of faces. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 20, 409-424.

Weird facts: On psychology around mortality issues

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 22:23:13 GMT

Reminding someone about their own mortality changes their political or social opinions

Iranian college students declared increased support for martyrdom attacks when they were reminded about their own deaths first. American college students reminded about their own mortality declared increased support for extreme military incursions that could kill thousands of civilians.

Watch out for politicians reminding you about your own mortality in an attempt to influence your opinions.

Taken from: Pyszczynski, T., Abdollahi, A., Solomon, S., Greenberg, J., Cohen, F., & Weise, D. (2006). Mortality Salience, Martyrdom, and Military Might: The Great Satan versus the Axis of Evil. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 32: 525-537.

Weird facts: On laziness

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 21:30:19 GMT

"A good way to get a lazy person in a group to carry their fair share is to ignore them."

Answer: FALSE

Ostracism can work as a way to increase hard work, but only if the person is female. Women feel bad when others ignore them, and consequently work harder. Men tend not to express emotions that appear feminine, such as distress. Although both men and women feel distressed when ostracized, men tend to hide this by being even lazier, just to show they are not distressed.

Taken from: Williams, K.D. & Sommer, K.L. (1997). Social ostracism by coworkers: does rejection lead to loafing or compensation? Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23, 693-706.

Weird facts: On decision-making

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 21:24:31 GMT

If you are having a hard time controlling your thoughts, feelings, or behaviors, it may be because you just made a lot of decisions.Decision-making affects self-regulation; that is, the ability to control our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Self-control and decision-making use the same psychological resource. When a person makes many decisions, the resource may get depleted and consequently the ability for self-control fails.

Taken from: Vohs, K., Baumeister, R., Schmeichel, B., Twenge, J., Nelson, N., & Tice, D. (2008). Making Choices Impairs Subsequent Self-Control: A Limited-Resource Account of Decision Making, Self-Regulation, and Active Initiative. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 94(5), 883-898.

Weird Stats and Facts: On Social circles

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 21:18:33 GMT

An average human social circle is about 150 people.

Jonas, C. (2007). There's something about zero. In-Mind Magazine, 4.

Playing with words

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 12:01:29 GMT

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some of the things they came up with:

Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

Surfacing the Goodness from Within

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 15:29:36 GMT

Certain things in life can encourage the positive emotions and feelings that are already in you, strengthening them.

Example: If you listen to a piece of music that means a lot to you, you are moved by it. Something that is in you already is stirred and called out by the music, so that you feel differently from the way you felt before. You are not changed from who you were, but a different side of your personality responds and is strengthened.

Certain people can also help an individual bring out this goodness that is within.

- Stefan Ball

Discover the Richness in Yourself

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 15:11:34 GMT

We are all here on earth to learn from who we are. Our time on the planet is an opportunity to discover our strengths and to work on our weaknesses. This means finding out who we really are. It means finding the richness in being ourselves.

- Bach beliefs ~ Stefan Ball

Weird Statistics & Facts: On Books

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 14:19:50 GMT

A new book is published every 30 seconds.
You'd need 163 lifetimes to get through all the books offered on Amazon.

Source: http://www.theschooloflife.com/bibliotherapy.aspx

Schopenhauer on Love

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 01:52:06 GMT

Nothing is more important than love, because the survival of our species depends on it.
But love has nothing to do with happiness. It is simply our biolgical animalistic way of telling us to propogate the species to create optimally healthy offspring.
Therefore love does not bring happiness. Happiness is attained by other ways.
- Schopenhauer

Canon amazing electric guitar arrangement

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 01:25:11 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjA5faZF1A8

This really makes me want to learn to play the guitar!

Epicurus on happiness

Sat, 09 Aug 2008 00:12:31 GMT

Epicurus' 3 ingredients for happiness:

Friends: Especially good friends whom you see very often. Epicurus suggested you always have a good friend with you whenever you eat for example because he placed company during meals more important than the food that you are consuming.
Freedom:
- Free from the struggle for money: Financially independent, economically self-sufficient. Enough money to provide all the basic needs for life. But according to Epicurus you won't get more happy if you accumulate more money.
- Free from everyday life and politics. Independent from what other people think. Having nothing to prove.
An analysed life: A life in which we take time and space to reflect on our life and our worries.Often anxieties diminish if we think them through.

Socrates on life analysis

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 23:44:10 GMT

The unexamined life is not worth living.
- Socrates

Eckhart Tolle: On Creativity

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 19:59:14 GMT

Creativity arises out of the state of thoughtless presence in which you are more awake than when you are immersed in thinking.

Eckhart Tolle: The Need for More

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 19:57:43 GMT

The mind loves to be given more. More of anything. It's looking for more of whatever it is to feel more fulfilled. The mind wants more in order to give "the story of me" a more satisfying conclusion. The mind wants more to develop the concept of "me"; to live life to the full. Filling yourself up with more of anything gives the illusion of filling yourself up, and making your life fulfilling. But "more" doesn't make a person fulfilled and at peace. Ultimately to feel at peace one needs to enter a state where you are free of the thought of needing more; free of thought, because thought that possesses you and pretends to *be* you is a dreadful thing. Rise above thought, and be conscious without thought. Peace is obtained by simply being in a state of thoughtless alertness, awareness and consciouseness.

Eckhart Tolle: On Interesting

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 19:30:54 GMT

There are deeper things in life than for things to have to be "interesting".
A sunrise is not interesting. It's vaster and deeper than that.

There are deeper things in yourself than what's interesting. But most people haven't found that dimension within themselves. They are stuck in interesting, and if you're stuck in "interesting" then you are also stuck in "boring", because a lot of the time life isn't that interesting, and then you're always looking for the next interesting thing to fill your mind.

You can go to a lot of places to fill your mind up with information: school, university, books, tv, the internet.
But maybe something that's important to learn is to stop worrying about life being interesting, and just Be and enjoy the moment, even if it is not particularly interesting. It is possible. Just Be. Be in the now.

Eckhart Tolle on The Power of Thought

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 17:49:22 GMT

In Shakespeare's words, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

You might say, “What a dreadful day!”
Without realizing that the cold, the wind, and the rain or whatever condition you react to are not dreadful.
They are as they are.
What is dreadful is your reaction, your inner resistance to it, and the emotion that is created by that resistance.

- Eckhart Tolle

Eckhart Tolle Quote: Being Yourself

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 17:47:15 GMT

“Just be yourself” is good advice, but it can also be misleading. The mind will come in and say, “Let's see. How can I be myself?” Then, the mind will develop some kind of strategy: “How to be myself.” Another role. “How can I be myself?” is, in fact, the wrong yourself. It implies you have to do something to be yourself. But “how” doesn't apply here because you are yourself already.
Stop adding unnecessary baggage to who you already are.
“But I don't know who I am. I don't know what it means to be myself.”
If you can be absolutely comfortable with not knowing who you are, then what's left is who you are – the Being behind the human, a field of pure potentiality other than something that is already defined.

Give up defining yourself – to yourself or to others.

Don’t be concerned with how others define you.
When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it's their problem!

Being at peace and being who you are, that is, being yourself, are one.
Peace, after all, is the end of the ego.

Michael Hall Quote

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 17:32:29 GMT

"People are not nouns but processes".

Loud/ quiet/ confident/ not confident/ sensitive/ insensitive etc - You may be one of these qualities right now, but since humans are ever-changing and ever-evolving this point is only one part of a long process that is your life.

Eckhart Tolle: Truth

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 21:45:03 GMT

The Truth is inseparable from who you are. Yes, you are the truth. If you look for it elsewhere, you will be deceived every time. The very Being that you are is Truth. Jesus tried to convey that when he said, “I am the way and the truth and the life.”

The ultimate truth of who you are is not in I am this or I am that, but I Am.

Ego is identification with form. Ego is saying "I am this" or "I am that" - where this or that can be religion, skin colour, personality traits, emotions, patterns of thought or patterns of behaviour and more. When there is nothing to identify with anymore, who are you? When your sense of Beingness, of I Am, is freed from its entanglement with form and labels: Spirit is released from its imprisonment in matter. You realize your essential identity as formless, as an all-pervasive Presence, of Being prior to all forms, all identifications. You realize your true identity as consciousness itself, rather than what consciousness had identified with.

Eckhart Tolle on Spiritual Realization

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 20:17:21 GMT

Spiritual realization is to see clearly that what I perceive, experience, think, or feel is ultimately not who I am.

Descartes said: “I think therefore I am” but Sartre noticed that the part of consciousness that feels “I am” isn’t the same part that thinks. When you are aware that you are thinking, that awareness is not part of thinking. It is a different dimension of consciousness. And it is that awareness that says “I am.” If there were nothing but thought in you, you wouldn't even know you are thinking.

Defining yourself through thought is limiting yourself.
Thought can at best point to the truth, but it never is the truth.
That's why Buddhists say “The finger pointing to the moon is not the moon.”

Eckhart Tolle on Happiness

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 19:47:39 GMT

The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.

Don't seek happiness. If you seek it, you won't find it, because seeking it is the antithesis of happiness. Happiness is ever elusive, but freedom from unhappiness is attainable now, by facing what is rather than making up stories about it. Unhappiness covers up your natural state of wellbeing and inner peace, the source of true happiness.

- Eckhart Tolle

Eckhart Tolle quote

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 15:09:38 GMT

“Life isn’t as serious as your mind makes it out to be.”
- Eckhart Tolle

Eckhart Tolle: All is One

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 11:24:17 GMT

All is One: There is only one absolute Truth, and all other truths emanate from it.

All life-forms are temporary manifestations of the underlying one Life.

Beyond form and ego, in Being, all are equal.

In form, you are and will always be inferior to some, superior to others.
[Some may have more money than you, be better looking, have more cool possessions, have more friends, be more generous, be happier etc] In essence, you are neither inferior nor superior to anyone.
True self-esteem and true humility arise out of that realization.
In the eyes of the ego, self- esteem and humility are contradictory. In truth, they are one and the same.

Underneath the surface appearance, everything is not only connected with everything else, but also with the Source of all life out of which it came. Death is the great equalizer... dust is dust.

All structures (forms) are unstable, even the seemingly solid material ones. But we all have a formless dimension – in humans this is the consciousness, the awareness – which is independent of our form.
Jesus called this formless dimension that is beyond structure that which gives “eternal life” because it is beyond death.

Each thing, even if it's an inanimate thing, has Beingness. It is a temporary form that has its origin within the formless one Life, the source of all things, all bodies, all forms. Although All is One, and this applies within the subcategory of human beings, most of us lack the sameness of bearing before all human beings, whether beggar or king. It is difficult to look through social roles and conceptual identities and see the sameness of being in every human. It is difficult to look through age too. The fact that you temporarily know more or that you are bigger does not mean the child is not your equal.

Word of the Day: Hiatus

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 01:01:00 GMT

Hiatus: A break or pause; A gap in a series, making it incomplete; A syllable break between two vowels, without an intervening consonant.

eg To many people nothing is more uncomfortable than a social hiatus, a period of silent, unstructured time when no one present can think of anything interesting to say...

Rain

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 14:02:17 GMT

Life isn't about surviving the storm, it's learning to dance in the rain.

Dreams

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 14:00:48 GMT

The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up

Developing good judgement

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 13:59:40 GMT

Good judgment comes from experience; Experience comes from bad judgment

Disease / Cure

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 19:52:36 GMT

If disease is dis-ease. Cure is being at ease again – and that can only happen when the whole person (body, mental state, emotional state etc) are at ease.

Is cure the absence of the symptoms? No: It can’t be because if you look at disease as dis-ease, you can have lack of symptoms but still fill ill at ease. So cure is absence of disease/ symptoms PLUS feeling at ease.

- Danheisser

Theory/ Reality

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 14:05:25 GMT

"In theory, there is no difference between theory and reality; in reality, there is."

The 3 Second Rule

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 22:44:16 GMT

If you want to do/ say something that's just in reach, the 3 Second Rule states that it's best to start acting on it within 3 seconds, otherwise you start over-thinking it and you are more likely to chicken out.

If you think you can do something, that means you probably *can* do it.

-Neil Strauss

Peacock Theory

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 22:42:05 GMT

Peacock theory states that to get what you want, you have to stand out in a colourful or even flashy way. Do not do what everyone else does. Stand out.
- Neil Strauss

The Game

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 22:35:38 GMT

You will have to play the game over and over to win. So get ready to fail.
- Mystery

Human being

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 14:40:52 GMT

"We are human beings, not human doings. We are here to “be” not to “do”."
- Danheisser

"Doing is never enough if you neglect Being.
If you are in the grip of the ego, you believe that by doing more and more you will eventually accumulate enough “doings” to make yourself feel complete at some point in the future. You won't. You will only lose yourself in doing. The entire civilization is losing itself in doing that is not rooted in Being and thus becomes futile.
Being: it is found in the still, alert presence of Consciousness itself, the Consciousness that you are.

Looking at the term “human being”:
Human is form.
Being is formless.
Human and Being are not separate but interwoven."

- Eckhart Tolle

What lies beneath the green green grass

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 00:28:33 GMT

The grass may be greener on the other side.
But if you dig a little deeper on your side of the fence, you may find some gold nuggets

Learning the hard way is sometimes the only way

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 00:24:28 GMT

When a caterpillar makes its transformation into a butterfly, it is not an easy process.
The little butterfly struggles to break free of the cocoon. In that very process of struggling to get out, the butterfly exercises its wing muscles and builds up the necessary strength to fly.
If someone with kind intentions compassionaltey cuts open the cocoon to make it easier for the butterfly, it will never gain the strength to fly.
Instead it just dies.

4 Types of Chemistry

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 00:21:30 GMT

There are basically 4 kinds of chemistry between dating partners:

Physical chemistry - generates desire
Emotional chemistry - generaets affection
Mental chemistry - generates interest
Spiritual chemsitry - creates love

Just fulfilling one or two of these is not enough. When someone is completely right for you, all 4 of these are satisfied.

- John Gray

The 5 Stages of Dating/ Love

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 00:18:03 GMT

Stage 1: Attraction

Stage 2: Uncertainty: Shift from attraction to uncertainty as to whether the person is right for you

Stage 3: Exclusivity: Overcoming uncertainty and desiring to date a person exclusively without competition

Stage 4: Intimacy: Letting down guards and sharing selves more deeply.

Stage 5: Thinking about a future together

- John Gray

Hitting the Target

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 00:13:54 GMT

Finding the right person for you is like hitting the centre of a target in archery.
To aim and hit the centre takes a lot of practice.
Some people may hit the centre right away, but most do not.
If you aim for the target and miss, you can self-correct until you eventuially hit the target.

- John Gray

More Why did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes :D

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 12:32:29 GMT

Why did Douglas Adams' chicken cross the road?
42

Why did the turtle cross the road?
Because the chicken was on holiday.

Why did Captain Kirk's chicken cross the road?
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Why did the psychic chicken cross the road?
To get in touch with the other side

Quotes: Falling

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 15:20:49 GMT

A person can't fall for you if you're not there to catch them.
- The OC

Quote: roses

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 20:41:29 GMT

"You can't expect to grow roses if you don't provide the right soil."
- Langley

Memories & Experiences

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 00:09:12 GMT

It's funny what we remember when we look back over the years..... a lot is deleted, some is faded.. and some is vivid.
What governs what we remember? What makes an experience memorable?
I suppose the most vivid memories are things that were most interesting/ fun/ exctiing/ traumatic.. although then there are those weird memories of seemingly minor and insignificant things too, like remembering your favourite kids tv shows, or remembering doing cartwheels on the lawn... or remembering a smell, a sight, a feeling, a taste.
Do memories define who you are now to some degree? Are one person's memories more worthy than anothers if they've experienced more exciting things? And what makes an experience meaningful?
If one person has memories of amazing experiences, does that make them a more fulfilled person than a person whose most amazing experience is of their favourite kids tv show? I suppose experiences you've had govern the richness of your life. And the richer your experiences, the more opportunities you've had to learn from them (where I believe learning is essential in becoming a more fulfilled person). But experiencing something doesn't necessarily mean you'll learn from it. So the person whose greatest experience is watching a kids tv show may get more from that show than someone whose just skydived or something, if the former's frame of mind is geared towards learning whilst the latter's is not. I dunno. I think I'm rambling.

Anyway! The point is...
I resolve to put myself out there and seek out amazing, meaningul, life-enriching experiences in the future... and to learn from each and every one.

Discoveries & Application

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 12:53:38 GMT

Medical Discoveries: The way I see it, there are 2 main ways that new discoveries are made:

Accidentally: This is the case where you're ill with disease X and one day for some reason have one too many of food Y and discover you feel a lot better, and then think "Ooh - I wonder if food Y has something in it to help anyone with disease X" - and then test to see if the discovery applies when repeated, and try find what it is in food Y that helped.
Purposefully: Start with a hypothesis that food Y treats disease X because food Y has this and that component which works on this or that system in the body by known mechanisms - and then prove it

Is one method better than the other? Well it's a good idea to understand the concept/ hypothesis behind a discovery to allow you to moniter more safely what something does to the body. The problem with accidental discoveries is that sometimes it's hard to understand the logic behind how it works... and then you end up with things which seem to work based on a lot of anecdotal evidence (and maybe even some scientific evidence), yet despite years of research we still don't really understand how it works physiologically. The question is, should you use something that can potentially help even though no-one fully understands how it works? If it doesnt seem to do harm, then why not - but we don't know if it can do harm because we dont understand how it works! Seems a bit of a grey area to me.. I don't know what the right decision is.

Quote: Be

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 21:31:42 GMT

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
- Anonymous

Quote: On Crises

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 17:46:56 GMT

"Out of every crisis is the seed of opportunity"
- Langley

Weird Statistics & Facts: On the importance of fruit and veg!

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 09:57:21 GMT

The total worldwide mortality currently attributable to inadequate consumption of fruits and vegetables is estimated to be up to 2,635 million deaths per year.

Bulletin of the WHO 2005; 83:100-8

Choosing who to marry...

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 09:36:29 GMT

"Marry for conversation, because everything else fades away..."

I don't know if this is 100% true. Hopefully not *everything* else fades away!! I'm assuming feelings of affection and love should also be there for the long-term.